Resolution Check-in Time

So we're almost at the end of January and when the new year started I passed this sign on the way home that said "may your troubles last as long as your resolutions." Although I realize most people don't keep their resolutions, I'm trying very hard to keep mine, or at least some of them. Here's a mock up of my new years resolution successes thus far:

Put my BlackBerry in the Backseat When I'm Driving.
Verdict: Failing miserably, I never usually text while driving but I found myself doing it this past week. I'm usually guilty of talking on my phone while driving, but this was a new level of bad driving etiquette for me.

Get my American Driver's License.

Verdict: Got it! I didn't let this one go unnoticed, I made sure I got my license as soon as the new year set in.

Learn the Virtue of Patience.

Verdict: I'm still trying. This is a work in progress, but I'm doing better.

Stop Living Vicariously through Pop Culture.

Verdict: Ha! I'm looking at this one right now and wondering if I had a few glasses of wine when I wrote this post because pop culture is fun. Sure I need to get out more, but between Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries, my real life romantic dry spell doesn't seem so terrible.

Spend More Time at Museums & Art Galleries.

Verdict: I've been out once or twice since the new year started but I definitely need to up my culture quotient some more. Maybe I should make a point of it to blog about interesting places/food/people and the like.

Reconnect With Myself, My Goals, My Desires, and My Plan.

Verdict: This takes a lot of quality me time, not the time spent sitting in front of the TV or the computer. Working on my grad school application might help me do this.

When Does Life Really Start

Considering my life after college, I can't help but feel cheated and not like those law school graduates that can't find jobs and are suing their alma maters for what their calling a ponzi scheme. Which, mind you is ridiculous, you decided to go into post-graduate studies, and it's not your school's fault you can't get a job, it's the economy's. Get your act together. What I mean to say is, for all the promise of the real world and life starting after you leave college, the truth of the matter is - I feel like I'm still waiting on my life to start. Although I hate the cliche line waiting for my life to start, I feel like I had more of a life when I was in college.

I suppose what I really mean is I enjoyed my life more. I had a discussion with a friend about life somewhat sucking after college, and being that I've moved away from all of my friends, with the exception of my family I have a very minimal level of human interaction (especially since my profession has been relegated to working from home thanks to the internet). This whole situation makes me wonder what my life is going to be like for my 20s, I finished college at 20 and now what, most people talk about their crazy twenties and how they really lived in their early adult years but my twenties started when I left college, and they don't seem to be getting better.

I'm looking for an opportunity to work in a social environment, and all this lack of interaction is like a social experiment gone wrong. I suddenly understand what sociologist babble on about when they're talking about human beings being social creatures. All this me time has me reconsidering whether or not I'd really be happy being single and childless for the rest of my life. I love myself, yet I can't imagine how stir-crazy I'll become if I'm relegated to spending the rest of my life in the digital age's equivalent of solitary confinement.

A Day in My Life My Life in a Day: Charade

So I must think I live in an Audrey Hepburn movie or something because I'm obsessed with trying to live out moments from my favorite films in everyday life. Two days ago I decided I'd be coming to NY for a couple days, and yesterday I decided my sister was going to come along for the ride. Thus far we've pigged out on lasagna and chicken marsala at Carmine's, a haunt I love in NYC (although now that one's in the Penn Quarter of DC I've got to go more often). After stuffing our faces with food and sitting around and allowing the meal to settle in our bellies (i.e. let the itis set in) we found a way to muscle our way over to the NYPL, only to find the cutest old telephone booths known to man. I don't know what it is about the New York Public Library but I'm utterly obsessed and this time I decided to have a little fun with my baby sister (she's 14 and taller than me mind you). In the film Charade, Audrey gets cornered in a telephone booth, which is probably the reason why I'm so taken with the ones over here. We each took it upon ourselves to sit, stand, and make goofy faces in the telephone booth while the other caught it on camera. I'm starting to think I need more of these random moments of crazy in my life, the last few months have been way too dull.

One day I'm going to stand in front of the Arc de Triumph and let a few dozen balloons fly like she did in Funny Face. Only then will my life be complete.

Blowing Out the Candles

I'm ashamed that the last time I posted was so long ago. With less than a month until my 21st birthday I'm sitting around wondering what the hell happened in the last year. First off, my relationships sucked, my career goals have thrown me into some nearly crushing emotional turmoil, and my family has become an even bigger part of my life than they already were.

BONUS: I'm now a published author, well sort of, my chapter on Canadian Healthcare was finally published in Universal Healthcare Problems in the United States of America (you can buy your copy on Amazon.com). I'm almost 21, so what the heck does that mean? In the last year I've made more dating mistakes than I did in my entire four years of college and gone ahead and transported my life from one country to the next. The last month and a half has been a crazy whirlwind experience, especially working for POSHGLAM.com and next week I'll be heading to Toronto for LG Fashion Week.

Where this all become some sort of pseudo-picturesque life? I don't know. I'm more tired than I've ever been, which may have something to do with the fact that I've been taking day trips back and forth between NY and DC. But I've never been so insanely happy, my dreams are coming true in ways I'd never expected so soon. Now what, in a few days I'll be blowing out my candles again, is that all there is? I need my Masters so NYU better get ready for me.

That's all she wrote... For now

Today I:

Walked on a labrynth. Ate a Strawberry Lava Fudge cupcake from Georgetown Cupcakes. Met a guy with the most beautiful green eyes. Was tempted to steal someone's Vespa. Wrote in the Georgetown Waterfront Park Journal. Bought a vintage jacket, 2 completely opposite style dresses & a pale gray skirt. Ate yummy sushi.

Today I appreciated my blessings & all of the challenges I've been faced with.

Today I spent some quality me time.

Today I rekindled my love affair with myself.

Today was a good day, no it was great.

That's all she wrote... For Now

The Age of Power

Ever feel like things are slipping away but you can't seem to understand why? Welcome to my world. You know the basics; I just finished undergrad, I turned twenty 7 months ago and now I'm stuck in limbo trying to move to NYC but not exactly sure when that's going to happen.

I've been dwelling on my quarter life crisis, and it's not as if I really have anything to be in a 'crisis' about. My world is changing and it happens to people every day. I finally got my copy of Communion by bell hooks today and twenty pages in I've realized something: this feeling of powerlessness that I've been dealing with is socialized (SUPRISE: like everything else tied to my 'femininity,' it's not inherent). hooks explains in the first chapter of the book that with age for a lot of women comes a sense of losing power, until they reach mid-life, that's when they start to get it back. I'm not sure why this resonates so well with me, it's not as if I had any intention of giving up my freedom, my freedom just somehow got attached to my adolescence. I'm only twenty years old, but I feel as if somewhere between my dream of wanting to be Editor-in-Chief and the part where I enter the real world and am actually supposed to make my dream happen, I was complicit in the giving up of my power; my brazen, hold no punches attitude. I think to myself, "I've got to get it back" (sounds eerily like one of those middle age women pining for their youth), but the truth is when I read this blog I realize it's still there, I just feel like it's not. So in the words of the late, great princess of R&B, Aaliyah - "age ain't nothing but a number."

That's all she wrote... For Now

Sentimentality

(image courtesy of ghopper99 from deviantart.com)

I'm a sentimental person and if I didn't know it before moving after living in Canada for almost ten years of my life showed me that loud and clear. I saved the label from the wine bottle my Aunt got me for my 19th birthday. I would have saved the bottle but I had to cut a few things when I was trying to fit every detail of my 20 years of existence into a limited set of boxes. I've kept a million and one memory boxes with God knows how many ticket stubs, notes and photo booth strips and sorting through them was no joke. I wonder how much of my life has been wasted on my sentimentality, I've kept the new years resolutions my friends and I made on the leftover wrapping paper I had lying around in my first year of high school, reading those reminds me of how pathetic my adolescent life was. I was resolute to be happy and tell the man I 'loved' how I really felt, while my friends resolutions read something to the effect of "have a boyfriend." At least I can say that I've changed now, I know what makes me happy beyond the company of another person and I'm determined to achieve my goals, goals that are worthwhile. As for right now as I stew at home I'm determined to make the most of my freelance work, do a little more soul searching and find myself a job as an Editorial Assistant.

That's all she wrote...For Now

I'm NOT a G

(image courtesy of mimblewimble on deviantart.com)

Today I failed my G driving test. The horror that rushed through my veins when the examiner announced that there are a few things I'll need to correct before I'll be able to pass the test made my blood cold. I was nervous, and I'd like to say something like "she failed me for the sake of failing me," or that "I was cheated" (at least then it wasn't something I did), but I can't, instead I'll concede I let my nerves get the best of me and now I've got to pay for it. That by no means means that I am okay with my recent failure, I'm actually extremely disappointed (hence the need to express myself in blog form). In the way that only I can, I have poured over the evaluation sheet reading her comments and the scoring sheet repeatedly wondering when I did or didn't do something right. I have to wait about a month to go for my test again because everybody and their sister and bother seems to want to go for their test in the summer months. I guess this is my penance for passing my G1 and G2 tests on my first tries. I don't like to ponder failure, I would much rather ponder my successes, too bad this is the real world and failure comes more often than success here. I hope I pass next time is all I can say. On another note I was honored at a ceremony this week for my student initiative, to be exact I received the Albert Lager Prize for Student Initiative Award from the McMaster University Alumni Association. I think that makes up for the $75 I just blew while failing my G test.

That's all she wrote...For Now

The Mountains I'll Climb

(Rasta Vybz by Laura Fung)

I wonder sometimes if being a year ahead and graduating at the age of twenty is a disadvantage in more ways than it is an advantage. I look around and I see websites like Ed2010.com offering happy hour networking events as such, but the fact that I have yet to reach the ripe age of 21 seems to be more of a road block in instances like these. I'm still on the job hunt, and while I know practically everyone graduating in 2010 feels the same way, especially my fellow humanities or liberal arts majors looking for jobs in the publishing industry. I've been freelancing for a couple of weeks and I wonder how much longer I'll have to do it. Freelancing is something I'm sure I'd like doing for a little extra cash, but I'm wondering if I'd ever want to depend on myself hunting down jobs and pitching articles for my livelihood. I suppose freelancing is very good training for me and that I'd better start looking for some other freelancing opportunities and pitching to different magazines. I've got a lot to learn, and by no means is the daunting job hunt that I've been dealing with for the last month deterring my determination to conquer the publishing industry. I just have to find an EA (editorial assistant) job first! Wish me luck. I've applied for over 40 jobs and even though my ego gets stung each time I don't hear anything back I have to be as persistent as pesky gray hairs.

That's all she wrote...For Now

Cravings

Now I've been pretty good for the last couple years. I stopped eating until I was stuffed, and started eating until I was satisfactorily full (&& lost 40 pounds that way), but over the last few months that good eating regime flew through the window. I surprisingly haven't put on any weight yet, but I'm bound to soon. Seeing as how I'd like to fit into that size 4 dress hanging in my closet, that thanks to my genes doesn't exactly fit my round behind - this needs to stop. My thoughts center around my career, my love life, my closet and FOOD! Bad combination - because if I'm not thinking of the other three things, I'm either eating or thinking about eating. When I think about all the summer paychecks that I didn't save, more than half of that went to feeding my eating out obsession. It doesn't help that my best friends a chef mind you! Don't get me wrong even though I eat quite a bit I do eat healthy, loading up on veggies rather than carbs. So here's the issue - should I diet or not, summer's coming and with the warm weather short shorts and bikini's, giving me less and less choice. Let's see if I can get through a week of eating to satisfaction rather than stuff-ation, I can do anything if I set my mind to it right?!? I'll update you when I do it, but only after I get that burrito I've been craving!

That's all she wrote... For Now

Got Goals?

(image courtesy of lichyz on deviantart.com)

Someone told me that I have too many role models, a statement I don't believe to be true, but I digress that with so many amazing women in this world how could I pick just one, or two for that matter? Every girl should have two things: a style icon and a career role model.

My style icon's: Audrey Hepburn and Tami Chynn both have this amazing quality about them; one is the embodiment of class and chic, the other is bold, yet ultra-feminine.

I think that after I've satisfied my career goals I'd like to publish 5 great novels like NYT Best Selling author Candace Bushnell - but that'll be the cherry on top. As for the whole sundae so to speak - Robin Givhan - The Pulitzer Prize winner for Criticism and Fashion Critic for The Washington Post is it! Givhan relates fashion to politics and aspects of culture and that is what I want to do! Considering I'm going to need a job in a couple of months, does anyone know if she's looking for an assistant?

The purpose of a role model is to help you be better; to achieve your goals, so choose wisely and follow their lead!

That's all she wrote... For Now

What's Your Number?

(image courtesy of ladymorgana on deviantart.com)

This week has been all about numbers, I sat in a class about Women as public intellectuals and somehow ended up on the subject of sex and the infamous number which sparked the inspiration for this post. A friend of mine once told me that her maximum number is five; meaning she's only allowed to sleep with five men in her lifetime. I found it strange that she'd relegated herself to a solitary number for the amount of men she's allowed to sleep with, not to mention the amount of pressure on lucky #5. For my friend the number five is the divide between a good girl and a bad woman, as for me I've always liked the bad girls - so here's to 5 and how ever many more I choose! I own my number, do you? In honour of International Women's Day (which is March 8), you definitely should!

That's all she wrote...For Now